Chapter 9: Soul Searching

Caleb sat nervously, waiting for Star to arrive. He regretted rushing in to things. Even he knew he got attached too easily. Was he doing the right thing by being here? Did he really love her? he thought about all the people he's cared about in his lifetime.

Those he felt attached to. He would always put them before anyone else. This included his parents, siblings, uncle Elliot and Tim.

Then there was those people he enjoyed being around. They were present in his life but hadn't been there through the tough parts. Nevertheless, he wouldn't want anything to happen to them. These included his aunt Erin and his manager Glenn.

There was people he had once been infatuated with. Well one person, his first love, or so he thought. Malissa, whom he thought he loved. He was merely a teenager and she almost a college student. He was positive now, looking back on it, that he was never in love with her.

Where did Star fall into this structure? He was doubting everything he thought was true. He had thought he was in love with her, thats why he jumped so quickly into proclaiming his feelings. The more he thought about it, the more faults he found. Star was one of the only girls around his age that he didn't hang out with in a professional manner. The two had only even known each other for a few weeks. There was no doubt he was rushing it. He had often found himself doing this very thing, especially in the business he was in. He had been quick to for friendships because he had never known where he would be next. None of those relationships lasted because he had never been able to see these people, and even they got sick of it. Now, he was finally settled down in Starlight Shores and he couldn't adjust to the slower paced lifestyle.

Caleb decided to strip away the excess glamour and be himself. He would present himself to Star and see how she felt when he was being Caleb Gray the person, not the celebrity. He gave up his blazer for his favorite hoodie. It was given to him by his uncle when Caleb proclaimed he was going on his first tour. It gave him good luck. He wasn't going to be silent and awkward. He was going to reassure himself and Star of his real feelings through the one thing that's helped them both, music. He held the guitar tightly and began to strum, unaware of Star's looming appearance.

(The song is called Hero from the Disney movie, Starstruck. You can hear it here if you'd like. I know what you guys are thinking, A Disney song!? But seriously, the lyrics fit so perfectly.)


                                           I'm no superman
                                        I can't take your hand
                                        And fly you anywhere
                                         You want to go (yeah)

                                        I can't read your mind
                                         Like a billboard sign
                                       And tell you everything
                                        You want to hear, but...

I'll be your hero

I, I can be everything you need
If you're the one for me
Like gravity I'll be unstoppable

I, yeah, I believe in destiny
I may be an ordinary guy
With heart and soul
But if you're the one for me
I'll be your hero

(Could you be the one, could you be the one, could you be the one for me?)
I'll be your hero
(Could you be the one, could you be the one, could you be the one for me?)
I'll be your hero

Searching high and low
Trying every road
If I see your face
I'll barely know (yeah)

I'll put my trust in fate
That you will come my way
And if it's right
It's undeniable, yeah

I'll be your hero

I, I can be everything you need
If you're the one for me
Like gravity I'll be unstoppable
I, yeah I believe in destiny
I may be an ordinary guy
With heart and soul
But if you're the one for me
I'll be your hero

(Could you be the one, could you be the one, could you be the one for me?)
I'll be your hero
(Could you be the one, could you be the one, could you be the one for me?)
I'll be your hero

Star watched breathlessly as Caleb effortlessly strummed away on his guitar. For a brief moment she was convinced that he had known she was here the whole time. The lyrics, the passion, the soul...it all felt like he was singing it directly to her. She thought about the lyrics. "I can be everything you need. If you're the one for me, like gravity I'll be unstoppable." He had been pretty proactive in showing his feelings to her, but the song seemed to follow Caleb's feelings exactly. She was no mind reader, but when he sang "searching high and low, trying every road, if I see your face I'll barely know" she could feel his anxieties, his unreadiness. Star could replicate those feelings exactly. She had never been in love, what was it? Was she really in love with Caleb? As if to reassure her, Caleb lifted his eyes and looked at her. he continued to sing, as if it was only the two in all of Starlight Shores.

So incredible

Some kind of miracle
When it's meant to be
I'll become a hero
So I'll wait, wait
Wait, wait for you

I'll be your hero

I, I can be everything you need
If you're the one for me
Like gravity I'll be unstoppable
(Be unstoppable)

I, yeah I believe in destiny
I may be an ordinary guy
With heart and soul
But if you're the one for me
I'll be your hero

(Could you be the one, could you be the one, could you be the one for me?)
I'll be your hero
(Could you be the one, could you be the one, could you be the one for me?)
I'll be your hero

When the song was finished, Caleb opened his mouth to speak but Star silenced him. 

"I felt it all, your anxieties, fear, reassurance and love..." She said as she came closer to him. "I can't sing you a song, or do a routine in this dress, but I hope you can understand my feelings through this..." She leaned in towards him and placed her lips on his. What she had been so hesitant of just twentyfour hours ago, felt so natural to her now. She tried to convey her loneliness, hurt, love and appreciation to Caleb. She wanted him to know it all, the real her. The insecure 22 year old who was alone in a strange place, not the big celebrity she was pretending to be. As if on cue, they both pulled away and looked at each other.

Caleb held her head in his hands and he spoke lovingly. "Are you sure? It's only been a few weeks."

Star smiled, "Thats what I told myself when you tried to kiss me the first time. I thought maybe I was infatuated with the fact that you're my celebrity crush. But, the more I thought about it, the more I could feel the butterflies. You always had my best interest in mind, yet I always felt nervous when you were around. I know you're going on tour and I won't stop you, but I just needed you to know how I feel before we separate."

"This tour is something that I have to do for my family. I need to find my brother. Lets not worry about it now, all you should be thinking about right now is how much I love you."

"Caleb," She knew not to ask. "I love you and I'll be here every step of the way like you've been for me."

He laced his fingers with her and smiled. "I had a picnic planned for us, I made sandwiches."

Star laughed. "You made the sandwiches or your private chef did?"

"Hey Mrs. Celebrity," Caleb joked. "are my sandwiches no good for you?"

"I'll let my taste buds decide that."

The two ate and chatted happily. Star told him about her family and Caleb told her about his. She spoke about the idiotic things she did with Harper and he told her about all of the trouble he got into with Tim. She explained why she had wanted to be an acrobat in the first place and he listened intently. The more they talked, the more Star realized she didn't know much about Caleb at all. If you looked at it from the outside you'd think it was illogical. You'd probably be reading the headline on the internet and dismissing it as some publicity stunt. To Star, love wasn't based on hard evidence. Yes, she had "dated" his best friend. Yes, she was his biggest fan before all of this. Yes, she didn't know much about his personal life. But did that all matter? No, because when she was near Caleb, she felt something she never felt before. It was like care, anxiety, fear, pressure, excitement and happiness all wrapped in one. 

"Caleb..." Star broke the silence.

"Yes?"

"Will you take me on tour with you?" She didn't want to be alone again. 

Caleb shook his head solemnly. "I can't"

"But I can be your groupie," She told him hopefully.

"Trust me, I'm protecting you."

"From what?"

"I'll constantly be doing interviews, rehearsals and shows. We'll probably only see each other for ten minutes a day." 

"Caleb, it's better than staying here and not seeing you at all! I don't want to be alone!" She cried out. 

"Knowing that I'm there and not being able to see me will hurt so much more. You have a rising fan base. it'll be no time until you start preforming on your own. Build your own life and when I'm done with tour, we'll live it together. I love you too much to let you throw away your potential for me."

Tears brimmed her eyes as if this very moment was the last goodbye. "But..." She began but she knew it was no use. He was right. There were too many things on the road she wasn't ready to face yet. The emptiness, the jealousy and jumping from place to place, she just couldn't handle it, not yet.